What Obama's victory meant to me.

Last night the world watched as Barack Obama was elected the 44Th president of the United States and its first black president. For me it was a very emotional and special moment. I watched as a man who has inspired me, who I identify with and who I voted for was lifted into one of the most important positions in the country. What blew me away about this moment was the beauty of seeing all these people come together, united as one, to celebrate a man who gave them hope.

Being Hispanic and growing up in a white house hold the issue of race was not important but it was always there. Through out my life I have been labeled as "Mexican" because of my skin or "White" because of where I grew up. The truth is I am neither and I am both at the same time. I am Latino, white, black, Asian, German, Jewish as well as a host of other races and cultures which is a reelection of the people I call friends and family. In Obama I see myself. Some one caught between racial identifies but at the same time represents the very best parts of what it means to be American.

What struck me the most about last night was all the faces of the people in crowd. White, Black, Latino, young and old all came together to celebrate this historic moment. You could see the hope in there eyes and the admiration they had for our new president. People like Jesse Jackson and Oprah Winfrey who are leaders in there own right and last night were humbled to tears. Last night they were not famous celebrities, they were just one of the crowd.

This is where history is made. These are the moments we learned about in school. The moments that Obama himself talked about in his speech. Moments like women got the right to vote or when Martin Luther King gave his "I have a dream" speech. This must have been what it was like to be inspired by JFK. To be apart of it, to experience it for ones self is truly remarkable.

I feel I have to say congratulations to John McCain for putting up a real fight. While I don't agree with his politics, his devotion to America is unquestionable. His concession speech was classy, well spoken and sincere. Where was that John McCain during the campaign? Where was the John McCain from SNL? Last night he too rose above his parties politics and acknowledged the significance the moment with honor and respect.

To me this victory meant the realization of MLK's dream and the dream of millions of American who gave everything to make this world a better place. It represents the American dream and the ideal that anything is possible if we work hard. Last night wasn't about black or white. Republican or Democrat. It was about people coming together. People celebrating the possibility of change and the power of hope. It is a moment that represents the very best of America and a moment that I will not soon forget. Today I am proud to say I am an American.

Congratulations Barack Obama, our 44Th president of the United States of America.

A goodbye for Mama Chila - by Eva

It's been almost a week since everything happened, and today I'm here home alone, trying to understand... I've always tried to see the good things in any situation, the learnings and the lessons, the happiness after the crying, but now I wonder how long it's going to take for me to see the comfort from this loss.


But let's try to do it, because that is what she would've wanted from me...
The feeling I was so afraid of is right here with me now: back to reality, and everything seems bizarre to me... having to think again about my own life, leaving behind what I've lost—it's really hard.


She used to say we didn't have to cry for her when she died, but that day at the hospital, standing right next to her bed, watching how life was leaving her slowly and how hard it was for her to take a breath, made me cry as I have never cried before. I'm still wondering why it had to be me who was the one she choose to be with her at the very last moment. My family explains to me that it was meant to be, that I was the one who God wanted to be there, and I may know it in my mind but my heart doesn't find much comfort in any possible explanation... I only know I told her how much we loved her, how much she meant to us, and that we were so thankful for all she gave us. Then I made a prayer and watched her last breath, and I watched how our angel left.


And that's what my mom was: an angel, a beautiful person who knew how to pull everyone together, always the center of the family, the point of reunion, wisdom personified. So humble but with such dignity, so small but so strong, so old but with such energy. She suffered so much, but she gave so much love. She never hesitated to give anything to others—her time, her love, her care, her food, her advice. She was always there and everyone respected her.


Her life was difficult for her, but inspiring to others. She always found the strength to continue, to make an effort in everything she did. She always found a way to behave with integrity and morality in all situations; she never judged anyone; she never left anyone behind. She cared about others as she would her own family. Everyone loved her. Everyone called her their Mama Chila...


Despite the sadness and how difficult it was to say goodbye, a remarkable series of events took place when my mom died.


It was amazing to see how many people she got to reunite. Some people I haven't seen in so many years came to say goodbye: family, friends, and even people who never met her! One told another, and in the end she got what she deserved, a very warm, lovely and sincere goodbye from all those who loved her and had received, in one way or another, some of her love for everyone.


Many more helped for her funeral and all that that takes. Some others gave their support as friendship, holding or simply calling, and others were there in person or with their prayers... All my mom's daugthers were there, reunited after so many years. We were all together as one big family.


There are no words to describe what she means for us. Everyone who knew her understands how special and particular this lady was. It is hard to say goodbye to a person like that, however I have to do it.


Mom: You were the only mother I knew when I was a kid. You were always there for me and loved me unconditionally. You taught me good from bad and how to be a person who cares. You were my strength in every difficult time, and you were there with me to celebrate the blessing to be a mother. You will always live in my heart, but now I know you are with God in a better place.


Thanks for everything you gave me and did for me. Thanks for all the love and thanks for being my angel, everyone's angel...Goodbye mom.

Mama Chila - By Eva

What do you do when a person you love is feeling pain? What can you do to help?

It breaks my heart to leave Mama Chila at the Hospital de Heredia today, alone, knowing she is feeling pain and wondering if she will get better for good.

What a brave woman...

Today when I saw her laying on the hospital bed a bunch of thoughts and feelings came along like a big wave, like a sudden and pouring rain... how much I wanted to tell her at that moment, and now I wonder if I will have time to say it to her?

After all, the only thing I could clearly find in my mind was thanks, thanks because she made me the woman I am now, and please tell me how you can thank someone who gave you her entire life and more just in a simple act out of love?

For so many years I've been thinking I was prepared for this, but facing this kind of situations is not something you are exactly prepared for... all the feelings of lost and loneliness came again to my heart by thinking I am losing my mother, again...

Today I remeber my mother R.I.P.

I guess you could say that this is the day that changed my life forever. It was on this day 26 years ago, three days before my first birthday, that Honduran officials stormed the safe house where I was staying with my mother. At the time my family were fighting as revolutionaries in the Salvadorian Civil War.

We don't know the exact details and probably never will. We think my mother was not in the house when it happened and was able to call my grandmother one last time. We will never know exactly what happened but what I do know is that this was the last time I was with my mother.

While searching the safe house Honduran officials found me in a back room. I was placed in an orphanage for a year before getting adopted.

Its a little strange to think that one moment in time completely changed my life forever. Had my mother left the movement like she wanted too maybe I would have never been lost for 16 years. Its hard to say what might have happened. But I don't spend too much time thinking about that any more.

However for many year I did think about what happened and this day always was very hard for me. I felt like this was the day that everything went wrong, the day I lost the most important person to me. My mother.

A few years ago that started to change for me, when I realized how fortunate I have been in my life. I started to let her go.

I still think of her on this day but its not the same. I think about what she had to give up. The strength it must have taken to put her self and her family in harms way. How impossibly hard it must have been. If I would have done the same. Most of all I think about how the sacrifices she made for me gave me a life and opportunities I might have never have had otherwise.

This may seem a bit off topic but I'm a big Harry Potter fan. I suppose that part of me identifies with that character. His mother died for him so that he could do great things. I see that in my own life and its the reason that I try to live everyday to the fullest. I wanted to share a quote that J.K Rowling uses in the final harry book. To me it says, even though the ones we love are gone they still live on inside of us.

Death is but crossing the world, as friends do the seas; they live in one another still. For they must needs be present, that love and live in that which is omnipresent. In this divine glass they see face to face; and their converse is free, as well as pure. This is the comfort of friends, that though they may be said to die, yet their friendship and society are, in the best sense, ever present, because immortal. - William Penn, More Fruits of Solitude

R.I.P. Ana Milgro Escobar de Coto. You will always be with me.

Suprise party for me!

After two weeks of working with father business here in David, Panama its time to head out again. Tomorrow I will be taking the bus back to Costa Rica where I will spend a couple days with my older sister before fly home to the US.

Since yesterday was my last day of work everyone at Servicios de Bordado Coto decided to throw me a birthday/going away party. It was a lot of fun and a complete surprise! We stuffed our selves with papusas and cake.

It has been a great trip to panama. We got a lot work done and are continuing to improve the families business. I'll be writing on more about the work I am doing there on my blog for my business Coto Solutions.

One of the things that amazed me about this trip was how connected the world has become. I think my father was surprised as well when I got the commercial he made for the business on the web in about 10 minuets. It hadn't even appeared on and already most of my family had seen it.

Tomorrow I have an 8 hour bus ride from David to San Jose. Its a long day but seeing my family makes it all worth it!

Commerical for my family's business

Just thought I would share this. Its a commercial my father did for the family silk screen business here in David, Panama. Enjoy!

My Grandmother - by Nelson/Roberto

About a month or so ago I found out that my grandmother was sick. At the time we did not know what was wrong with her, but she seemed to think this was the end for her. They told me she was tired and was ready to move on.

This was something I was not expecting to hear from her. Over the past couple of trips I had started to notice her aging more than she had before. I had a lingering feeling that one day I would have to say goodbye. However it wasn't until I heard what she said to my sister that it actually hit me.

I am going to miss her. Now I can't say that I am very close to her. Since my Spanish isn't the greatest, we don't talk much.

When I see her it’s for a few hours each trip. She greets me with a smile and asks me about the rest of the family. She never asks me about my life or what I am doing. She loves to cook for me, and I definitely enjoy her food. It’s so simple and in some ways so meaningful.

It’s not talking, it’s not judging, it’s not questioning. It’s just being together.

I'm not exactly sure why this is affecting me this much. I've had other grandmothers whom I loved pass away, and I didn't feel like this. I don't think I was that close to them either. Maybe it’s because without her I would not be sitting here in my sister's house.

I don't think I can put into words what she means to me and how I feel about her. All I can say is that she never gave up on me and because of her hard work I have had so many happy memories.

She is doing much better now, but I know that one day I will have to say goodbye. Hearing those words was a wake up call in some way. I suddenly knew that each time I see her it might be the last. It’s a little sad to think about, but from now on I will appreciate so much more every moment I get to spend with her.

On the road again

Next week I will be flying down to Central America again to work on a project with my fathers business in Panama. This will be a little shorter than my last trip which was a month long. I'll be down there for 3 weeks.

On the trip I will be doing work for a business that I am trying to start up. As part of this business I am trying to show the impact that technology has on developing nations. If you are interested in learning more about the work I am doing take a look at my company's site. www.cotosolutions.com

I'm excited to see my brother and sisters. My grandmother was sick a couple weeks ago so I am looking forward to seeing her as well. Maybe I will get a chance to do a few more video interviews!

Part 1: Impossible decisions

These next few entries I wrote over the holiday season while I was in Central America. This was our 10 year anniversary since we first met. I spend a lot of time reflecting on our story and how it has effected our family. This is the first of 4 or 5 post that I wrote.

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How do you make an impossible decision. The type of decision can forever change your life and the lives of the people you care about the most. How does you walk away from a husband who drinks to much? Or leave your comrades at arms to raise a family? Hows does a teenager find the strength and courage to run away from his or her parents? How do you leave a business that has been your life's work knowing it might fall apart if you do.

I don't know how we make these decisions. We think and think, yet no matter how hard we think the answer eludes us. We are faced with a choice of doing whats best for us or doing whats best for those around us. You ask your self a never ending set of questions as you struggle to make the right choice. Should you honor your commitments even when you are no longer happy? Are you being selfish or doing whats best for you. When is enough, enough?

I wish there was some easy way to know what the best course of action is, but there isn't. These are things that you must decided for yourself. You can ask for peoples advice and get there input but at the end of the day you have to live with your choices. You must be accountable for your actions and aspect all consequences no matter how undesirable.

Sometimes I feel like our story has been one impossible decision after another. I admire the courage and strength that each of those decisions took to make. There is no right answer. They are impossible because it feels like no ones wins. Even when you know you are doing the best thing for your self you can't help but feel bad for the people it is going to effect.

The moment it all changed

Through most of my life I struggled with the fact that the family that I lived with was not my biological family. I am sure this is something that many adopted persons go through at sometime in there lives. I think much of that came from the fact that when I was younger I knew so little about where I came from and who I was. Your birthday and background are such an important part of your identity and for the first 15 years of my life this was surrounded in mystery.

I think this also stemmed from the fact that I could see my little brother as the child of my parents. He was like them is so many ways and I was so different. Not having people in my life who were like me and who understood me was hard. Then I found my family and I found piece of my self. However part of me would not let go of those child hood dreams of seeing my mother again. How are you just supposed to let go of the one thing you wanted all your life?

In the last interview my sister asked at what point did it all start to make sense? When did everything change for me? I can remember the day. The day where I was finally able to let go of my birth mother and accept who I was.

It was May 2003 and I was in Central America visiting Eva. I was talking with her about our biological mother because May 19th is the day that she was taken from us and a day that I always think about her. It used to be a very difficult day for me. For in my mind this is the day that my world was ripped apart.

I was talking with Eva about this. I was so sad and trying desperately to understand why this happened to us. Then Eva said something that I will never forget. She said that I had a great mother in Margaret and behind her, looking down on us, was our mother.

A few days later I was back in Boston. I think I was still feeling a little down. When I got home Margaret had something for me. It was a letter she had sent me while I was in school. The letter was part of something the school was doing and was supposed to be posted somewhere in school. For whatever reason they received the letter too late and ended up sending it back home.

I opened it up and started to read. The letter said how proud she was of me and what a joy it was to raise both Derek and my self. On the back she wrote "You are my sunshine my only sunshine. Do you remember I used to sing that to you when you were little?"

I broke down. I remembered very clearly when she used to sing that song. I remembered all the difficult time we had. But most of all I remembered how she loved and cared for my over the years. How both adaptive mother and father gave me so much when I was little. How they stood by me when I struggled to understand who I was and what had happened to me. How they always believed in me. How they taught me right from wrong and so many other valuable life lessons.

It was exactly what I needed to hear. My sister was right. Behind my mother was...my mother. I couldn't believe it. This letter I was supposed to receive during school got sent back but arrived when I was away. So I ended up reading it just when i needed it the most. I guess you might call it fate, but from that moment on things got easier. I felt at peace about the situation that I had not felt before.

Looking back years later I can appreciate so much more what my adoptive family was able to give me. Perhaps my longings for growing up with my birth family came from my youthful ignorance. Or maybe it was easier for me to dream of my perfect family then face the difficulties that every family deals with. Whatever it was, I know now I how fortunate I was to have them. After getting to know my biological family more, I see how they struggle with the love and understanding that was given to me unconditionally. How they have a hard time looking past each others short comings and just loving each other for who they are. What I realize now, is that the perfect family I longed for in my youth, I had all along. Not the family that was my blood but the family that became my blood.

Vlog #5 - Eva interviews me

Here is an interview we did right before I left Costa Rica the other week. I had to break it into two parts because it went over youtube time limited and I didn't want to cut anything out.

We talk about what is was like for me growing up in America and some of my plans for the future. The audio quality isn't the greatest but its still a really great interview.

Vlob #4 - Interview with Ernesto

Its my last day in panama. Tomorrow I'm off to costa rica to spend the weekend with my sister before heading back to the states. This is a video me and my brother did the other day where we talk about what it was like getting to know each other over the past 10 years.

Video Blog #3 - The past 10 years

10 years post

Its hard to believe that it has been 10 years since we first met. Sometimes people say "its feels like just yesterday" For me it feels like a lifetime. It seams like so long ago that I walked out of the airport into the arms of my father and sister. I don't think thats a bad thing either. I have so many good memories since then that I can hardly believe it was only ten years ago.

People sometimes ask "where do you see your self in ten years? Well I can tell you that 10 years ago I would have never guessed this. I would have never guess I would be sitting in panama in front of the Christmas tree. I never would have guess I would be working with my dad and cousin. I never would have guessed I would have such wonderful brothers and sisters to spend the holidays with. I never would have guessed that my mother would be writing about my story or that people would want to hear me talk about it.

I'm trying to come up with something else meaningful to say about everything that happened and I can't. I really wanted to writing something about how incredible these past years have been and how they have effected my life. I also wanted to talk about what a great family I have both here and in America. Maybe its just too hard to sum up 10 years of memories in a couple paragraphs. I'm at a loss for words. Perhaps I shouldn't even try and just enjoy being here with my family.

All I can say for sure is that I am so lucky to have found these incredible people and to be a part of their lives. I know they feel the same way. I love all of you and you all mean so much to me. Happy 10 years.

Missing you – by Eva

Christmas time already! Time for sharing, for good wishes, for happiness and blessings, for family, for friends, for love! God has been good to me and he gave me the big and wonderful family that I now have. I really love you and I am so happy that I have you now, but even though there is always sadness in my heart.

This is the first Christmas since we started the blog, but of course is not the first Christmas without my mom. Thinking about her is always hard, but the time for Christmas and specially my B-day make it harder.

How much I wish to have her every holiday, every birthday, every single day… sometimes it amazes me how much I miss her, sometimes I find myself thinking about her and imagining how it would be to have her. I am sure she would be a beautiful woman, I am sure we would be so close specially cause I am her only daughter, I am sure she would take care of my daughter and would spoil her like grandmas do.

How it would be to have her for Christmas? I wonder… how it would be to prepare Christmas dinner with her, help her and spend my time with her, along with Daniela, Mama Chila and I am sure with other members of my family… she would be a great cooker right? It is part of our family. How hard is sometimes not to cry when I think about her, every tear is a sign of how much I miss her…

I can’t think about how many Christmas, b-days and holidays I’ve missed her, sometimes I can’t think how I’ve lived without her. The feeling in my heart does not fade away, I still miss her same I missed her when I was 3. But I keep going, life is just about that right? Keep going, growing as a person and living with your experiences, trying to get the best of them. I can’t help to feel sad when I think about her, but I guess it means she is still on my heart.

I really miss you mom you will always be here in my heart...Merry Christmas, you know how much I love you…

Eva and Roberto Video interview #2

The way He works - by Eva

Have you ever thought about your purpose in life? Have you ever thought about the mission you have and the reason why you are here today?

Day by day I live thinking about the reasons that brought me here where I am. Day by day I try to think what makes me be the woman I am nowadays. Sometimes I go back long time ago and start thinking about everything what had happened to me and my family, and sometimes I just happen to think about what is coming next…

Whatever I think gets me to one point: God’s will, and watching today at the video of the interview my brother made, makes me be even surer about that. What a wonderful opportunity this interview was to tell others the story.

But also I was thinking to myself, what a great opportunity we had to meet Amanda, Mr. and Mrs. Gross and Cristina that nice Saturday here in Costa Rica. I have to say at the beginning I thought they seem to be very nice people, but then as long as I got to know them I thought to myself they happen to be not only nice people but really wonderful people. As the conversation went on, I found they are a wonderful family and I was so glad to get to know them. Once we went for lunch somehow we started to talk about our story very naturally, one thing brought to another and then we found ourselves talking about what had happened to our family. And there we were, my brother trying to tell the story in a logical way so they could understand, and me, trying to explain with my lack of English how does it feel to have him back. Someway words just went out and it was really nice to see them immerse in it and trying to understand.

After that the idea of the interview came, and it was done….

Telling the story not only identify ourselves as the persons we are, but also it goes further than that. And today watching at the video I thought how the testimony is allowed to be spread out for more people. And then I wonder again: is that one of our purposes in life? We have to talk about what happened to us, and point the good in it, our story is filled of sad episodes but also it is flowed of happiness and hope, and miracles and blessings!

How wonderful is to tell that in the end, there was something for my brother and I that made us even closer; I guess the story touched hearts.

How wonderful is God who speaks and works in so many ways. There is always a message to give, a message to receive and a message to share! Maybe that is one of our missions now, to touch as much hearts as we can…

Thank you Amanda, Mr. and Mrs. Gross! I am very happy that we get to know you all that beautiful Saturday, and I am sure that was not just a matter of luck, because you know…God is working around…

Speaking engagement

The other week I was contacted by someone who was interested in having me come and speak to her high school students. This is a first for me. While I have talked to my friends and to others about the story, I have never given a talk about it.

I have to say I am kind of excited about the idea. As I have said in the video and before on this blog I think this is a wonderful story and one that needs to be shared. Part of the reason for starting this blog was to remember my mother and to tell people what my family went through. When my parents were in the war they didn't have a voice so hopeful my sister and I are able to give them one now.

Anyway I just wanted to say that I am very excited speaking to these kids. It means a lot to be able to share our story. This is also an open invitation for anyone else who might be interested in having me come speak to a group. You can reach me at dewittn@anasmiracle.com

Eugenia's Testimonial

First of all I want to thank everyone who commented about the video. I'm glad that so many of you liked it. It was a great experience and I would like to thank Tod Gross for having me on the show.

This next video is a testimonial that one of my cousins gave at her church. Last year her husband shot her, their child and himself. She survived but the baby did not. It was a very hard on my grandmother and that side of the family. My cousin has pulled through and despite everything that happened she is determined to continue to live her life. I can't imagine how hard this must have been for her and I am proud of her for speaking about it so soon after it happened.

(The video is in spanish and the audio quality is not the best but if you are able to understand it then I recommend watching.)

Sunny Side of the Street interview

In October during my visit to Coast Rica I met up with a friend from the states. My sister and I met with her and her parents. We shared our story and her father who has a TV show on the local cable network.

He invited me to come on the show and at the beginning of November I took him up on the offer and this is the show. It was an interesting experience. I think I was little nervous to start but it I think it turned out very nicely.

Let me know what you think!



If you want to read more about our story and what it was like for us check out the ebook.